Bad Dad: 10 Keys To Regaining Trust.

"All fathers need to read this book..."

"All fathers need to read this book, whether they think they're a 'Bad Dad' or not. David's courageous honesty about his own past mistakes should serve as a wake-up call to all parents about the ways in which our actions affect our children. Awareness is the first step to improvement, and David beautifully demonstrates just how possible it is to heal the father-child bond, if only the desire to do so exists first."

Wendy Betterini

www.WingsForTheHeart.com "Never too late to be a wonderful dad!"

It's never too late to be a wonderful dad! That's the inspiring message in David Perdew's painfully honest story of his disasters, gradual recovery and ultimate triumph in the world of modern fatherhood. This book is sure to be of great help and encouragement to every dad who's ever struggled in his relationship with a son or daughter and I'm more than happy to recommend it to my readers.

Bob Collier, Publisher of the Parental Intelligence Newsletter http://www.parental-intelligence.com

From the Mouths of Babes

Reason one. My daughter rarely describes the days she tiptoed around me because of my explosive temper—it's still too painful. But now she says:

I live an enriched, fulfilling, happy, fun life and Dad taught me how to do that. He taught me to take what you have, a life that you hate, and turn it into a dream come true. It may have taken me awhile but I’m here now, and he gets the credit.

Reason two. My oldest son, who always tried to tell me the story he thought I wanted to hear, says:

Throughout my life, my dad was always the last one to know. I would avoid telling him things, because I was afraid of disappointing him. What I eventually did was leave him out all together. It was when I took my beautiful bride-to-be to meet him thatI finally understood. After all of those years, I was always afraid of the wrong thing. Not including him ultimately hurt us both.

Reason three. My youngest son, who didn't spend a night with me for nearly six years, says:

There were some times when I really didn’t feel comfortable around you because I didn’t know what you were going to do next. You were just so angry and that scared me. The only way that I felt I could get over the hurt of it was to make myself not care and the drugs really helped with that. I know that I have done, and still do, some things to really upset you, and make you angry but you still tell me you love me. And that is it. That is what a good father does. No matter what, you will love me and you make sure that I know that.

A parent's worst nightmare: A child on drugs. My youngest son ended up in an outpatient drug rehab to escape his father. If you don't understand why you must change your life after an episode like that, then you're not ready for Bad Dad. Sorry to have wasted your time. But if you feel a little twinge of recognition in your gut, keep reading.

In Bad Dad, you'll learn how I made the change that created trust again. You'll learn the secrets of parenting that actually work.

Read Bad Dad - change your life for the better

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Learn the 10 keys you must use to repair your broken relationships

Follow these steps, and the distance between you and your children will melt away. No, it won't happen overnight. That's one of the changes that you need to make—building realistic expectations. One of my favorite sayings is: If it's 10 miles into the woods, it's 10 miles out again. Unfortunately, the longer damage was inflicted on the relationship, the longer it takes to regain the trust. So, you must start now!

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Learn to talk to your kids

You have to make the first move. And screaming, lecturing or badgering are not acceptable forms of talking. Your kids are not coming to you with their their problems or concerns for a reason. Bad Dad will teach you how to open up and allow them come to you on their terms.

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Learn to respect your kids. Teach them to respect themselves

Genuine respect is loving, non-judgemental. Learn to recognize the disrespectful ways you've treated them and yourself, and stop it.

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No longer make promises that you can't keep

Become predictable. It's exactly what your kids need. To know consistently that being with you is safe. Demonstrate day-in and day-out that you will keep your word. Bad Dad teaches you how to be consistent, and helps you understand why you haven't been in the past.

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Learn why too much help to your kids is no help at all

"I give and I give, and it means nothing. No one appreciates what I'm doing." Have you ever said that? Money, things, gifts—they're no substitue for love. You created all the resentment you feel! How do you get off this Merry-Go-Round? Read Bad Dad for the answer.

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Learn to say "I love you" and mean it

Saying it isn't hard. They've heard it before. At this point, saying it may not be as important as showing it. Bad Dad will show you how to say "I love you," mean it and demonstrate it.

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Learn how to forgive yourself and your children

Looking for freedom? Are you a prisoner of guilt? Bad Dad will help you find the freedom that comes from forgiveness. Forgiving your kids for their part is just the beginning. To make real progress toward change, you have to forgive yourself and let go of the guilt.

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Learn to stop judging yourself and your kids

Can you hear hard stuff? Do you really want to know what's going on with your kids? Can you talk about drinking and drugs and sex? You must be able to talk your children about this stuff, and Bad Dad will help you listen without freaking out!

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Crisis happens. Learn to respond calmly and show your kids your best self

One thing is guaranteed: Your kids will be in a crisis at some point, but you will learn how to respond without "losing it", while supporting your child. It's also important to learn when rescuing them is not the right answer.

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Learn about the most important relationship in your family. (Hint: it's not with your kids, but it affects them the most)

Modeling a healthy relationship starts at home. Bad Dad teaches you to focus on improving the primary relationship in the house—with your spouse or partner. After all, that's where the loving starts. And if love's not demostrated there, it's not a safe place for the the kids.

How can I promise to improve your relationships

with your children?

Because I've been there, done that and lived it. This is not theory I'm giving you, but field work! Let me explain.

Thirty years ago, as a married freshman college student with a wife and baby at home, I attended Psychology 101 and immediately became offended when the professor, a single man with no children, began lecturing more than a hundred students about raising children.

What arrogance . . . ON MY PART!

I believed I knew how to raise my own children. At 21-years old, I obviously knew nothing—about anything. Yet, that's when I became a father. Then again at 24 and at 27. I thought fatherhood was a natural instinct, like removing your hand from a hot stove. I just assumed I'd know what to do. After all, boys had become fathers for millennia. Learning to be a parent seemed like such a foreign idea to me.

I had no idea that being a father is the most important job I would ever have.

By the time I was 35, my children were afraid of me. They didn't like to be around me. My wife divorced me. The kids blamed me. For many years, I had no idea why. Then, with the help of others like me, I learned.

From cradle to grave, a father's most important relationships are with his family - the wife and kids. In today's world, the pressure to perform, to earn, to win creates a natural tension between providing for the family and spending time with the family. Too many parents like me become resentful and angry.

Bad Dad documents my experience as a father, mutating from a proud and loving—if not naive—young father of a new-born to a resentful, angry man trapped by family responsibilties. But unlike most stories, this one has a happy ending. As I spent years rebuilding the relationships with my children, I learned the real meaning of trust and love. Only then could I help my children and find a real loving primary relationship. Instead of a droning monologue about what they should do, I had to become a living example.

Don't take my word for it. Read what others have to say...

"Honest and inspiring book "

My partner has suffered from his relationship with his dad, which turned sour as they grew apart and his dad was stuck in a vision of the world, last updated in the late seventies.

Together we have 4 young boys now and if there is one thing we don't want, it's to see history repeat itself. Thank you David for your honest and inspiring book. It will help us in more than one ways to bridge the gaps between the generations!

Patricia Ritsema van Eck

www.my-happy-heart.com

"An e-book like yours may help them feel less alone..."

As a Special Education Consultant, I frequently talk to parents who feel guilty about how they have handled things with their special needs children. Even though they may have been doing the best they could at the time, they still have regrets. An e-book like yours may help them feel less alone and encourage them in their efforts to be the dad or mom they want to be.

Sharon A. Mitchell

www.autismsite.ca

"The healing of humanity"

What a superb person you are to be willing to publicly reveal personal issues and then to use them as a springboard for others You are definitely contributing to the healing of humanity.

Rich Blessings

Rev. Wanda Gail Campbell

"Thank you, David, for your gift of courage."

David’s Bad Dad ebook seemed an interesting and worthwhile premise. Having someone lay the groundwork for instigating change would make change that much easier. This could be good, I thought. But not once did I think his words would apply to me.

I was wrong. When I read “somehow, from a very early age, I believed that I needed to achieve great things and stand out,” thoughts of my father came to mind. A sob welled up from my heart. My throat tightened in that scratchy way while tears ran down my cheek. I saw a younger me looking at my father’s straight-A report cards while he reminded me that I didn’t try hard enough.

I never compared myself with over-achievers. I didn’t spend hours studying to be a straight-A student or get perfect SAT scores. But I might as well have because deep inside I felt I wasn’t good enough.

Over the years I’ve struggled with self-confidence, forgiving myself for many of my actions, and forgiving other people for the hurt I felt. In all that time I’ve never forgiven my father. It's taken me years to learn that I can’t change someone else. My father raised me to the best of his ability. I know he loves me. The way I reacted was my choice. I’ve finally forgiven him, and now when I say I love him, I won’t be holding back.

Thank you, David, for your gift of courage. Your willingness to change your life helps me to change mine.

Sincerely, Nanette Littlestone

www.wordsofpassion.com

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